Jokes

Telephone bill !!!

2008-09-03T12:44:00.001-07:00

The phone bill was exceptionally high and

the man of the house called a family meeting...

On a Saturday morning...

after breakfast...

Dad:

People this is unacceptable.

You have to limit the use of the phone.

I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

Mum:

Same here,

I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.

Son:

Me too,

I never use the home phone.

I always use my company mobile.

Maid:

So - what is the problem?

We all use our work telephones !!!!!

POOR MUSHARRAF, AFTER RESIGNING!

2008-08-29T22:48:00.000-07:00

Latest car security system

2008-08-29T22:47:00.001-07:00

Some lines to Boss

2008-08-28T15:22:00.000-07:00

People who do lots of work...
make lots of mistakes

People who do less work...
make less mistakes

People who do no work...
make no mistakes

People who make no mistakes...
gets promoted

That's why I spend most of my time
Sending e-mails & playing games at work , I need a promotion.

New Safe seat belt...........

2008-08-26T22:49:00.001-07:00

The National Roads Safety Council has done extensive testing on
a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be
reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed.

Correct installation is illustrated below.......
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How Men Changes after Marrige

2008-08-20T01:38:00.000-07:00

The Love Word:
After 6 weeks: I looo-ve you, I love you, I love you!
After 6 months: Of course, I love you.
After 6 years: GOD, if I didn't love you, then why did I marry you?

Back from Work:
After 6 weeks: Honey, I'm home!
After 6 months: I'm BACK!!
After 6 years: Have you cooked yet?

Phone Ringing:
After 6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
After 6 months: Here, it's for you.
After 6 years: ANSWER THE PHONE DAM*T!!

Cooking:
After 6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good!
After 6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight?
After 6 years: DUMPLING AGAIN??

New Dress:
After 6 weeks: Wow, you look like an angel in that dress.
After 6 months: You bought a new dress again?
After 6 years: How much did THAT cost me?

TV:
After 6 weeks: Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
After 6 months: I like this movie.
After 6 years: I'm going to watch PIRATES play, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself!

Sardars are funny :)

2008-08-19T01:15:00.001-07:00

American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
Sardar : Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.

Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

How to ask your boss for a salary increase

2008-08-18T11:08:00.000-07:00

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately.

I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon

Your$ $incerely

Norman $oh

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply

Dear NOrman

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean

Yours truly

Manager

Disasters Around the World (Open)

2008-08-07T00:29:00.001-07:00

Disassters Arround the World.

expecting comments from you :)

You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this.

2008-08-04T22:30:00.001-07:00

This is a true essay written by a CSS candidate at the CSS Exam held in year 2002-2003 in Islamabad The candidate has written an essay on Cow:

'COW'

He is the cow. 'The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed. And because he is female, he gives milks, [but will do so when he is got child.]. He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilized for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. [horses don't have any such attachment]

What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, water mans and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species. Also his other motion. {gober} is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making flat cakes [like Pizza], in hand, and drying in the sun.

Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards he chews with his teeth that are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards. He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohesive body here upon he gives hit with it. The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts. His eyes and nose are like his other relatives.

This is the cow.

Rumor is that the guy cleared the CSS & is now DC somewhere in Punjab !!!

Dawn News Paper January 1, 2020

2008-08-03T23:38:00.000-07:00

OOO. .. Good dreams of ill-fated pakistanis :(

see wht u were doing in your Childhood :)

2008-03-17T04:36:00.001-07:00

Whole Numbers??

2008-03-12T23:38:00.000-07:00

Teacher: What are whole numbers?

Student: Like 0, 6, 8, 9.

Teacher: And what about 10?

Student: It is half-whole, 1 doesn't have a hole.

(a + b) ^ n: Expand....

2008-03-12T22:25:00.000-07:00

Define infinite to a girl LOL

2008-03-11T20:17:00.000-07:00

Mathematics Trignomatry

2008-03-11T20:11:00.001-07:00